Since becoming a mother, I have realized that most mundane lessons in life are enough to make you smile, shake your head, or make up a new four-letter profanity that would make Charlie Sheen blush. Over the past 24-hours, I have had my fair share of both laugh out loud and f*ck my life moments. Here are just a few of them:

Thursday, June 17th, 2011

  • Heating up canned soup CAN set off a fire alarm.
  • Black beans do not take an hour to cook. They virtually take a lifetime. 
  • A smiley baby in his Boppy = cute as can be. Picking up said baby to find newborn poo all over the couch = the reason for his ear-to-ear grin.

Friday, June 18th, 2011

  • When babies barf, it can go anywhere. Including their ears. Getting the chunkiness out of the tiny ear canal of a wiggle-worm without  the help of a Q-Tip should be an Olympic sport.
  • Before closing on a house, test the sprinkler system. Don’t look at the green lawn and assume the irrigation system works… trust me, it’s a nasty and expensive surprise to find out that you assumed incorrectly.
  • Forget a Native American rain dance or getting your car washed… if you want to ensure a torrential downpour, simply hire a plumber to work on your sprinkler system. The minute they fire up the Soldering iron, all hell will break loose.

What are some of your favorite lessons?